Saturday, December 20, 2008

Have you hugged someone today?

First of all, I want to say that this isn't a bitch-fest for me. I'm not writing to try to complain, or grovel, or to try to make anyone feel sorry for me. I've just had a lot of stuff go on in the last few weeks and I think, personally, it'll just help me sort it all out if I write it down. I took a vacation last week from work, and ended up spending most of it trying to help my parents move. I'm not complaining. I'm the oldest son, so . . that's what I do. It's just . . the whole situation was rather depressing. Not necessarily for my parents. They're more comfortable now. They're in a home that's better suited for their needs and mobility. This is about the 3rd or 4th time I've helped them move in the last . . . oh, 10 to 12 years. I actually get down about a couple of things. First is my mother's health. She's been fighting a blood disease for about 20, or so, years. It's a very expensive fight and my father has to do everything he can to help her, work with her and comfort her. She has a treatment about every 4 or 5 weeks. The week before she's very susceptible to illness and is especially weak. The week after . . . it takes her about 5 to 7 days to recover. So she gets about 2 weeks a month where she feels almost normal. Therefore whenever they move, they have less and less stuff. Their budget gets tighter every single year. Sometimes every single month. But . . they're fighting. Mom reads constantly, and dad does his best to stay busy. I think so things don't overwhelm him. Anyways, the part about this that gets me down is, obviously, I've seen the progression of their lives for many years now. Whenever I help them move, I'm reminded first how fleeting life really is. It's hard to watch your parents get old. And secondly how the acquisition of money or 'things' really just isn't that important. As we go through our lives we spend different periods of time attempting to acquire something. Whether it's days, weeks, months, years . . . we have a yearning for something that we think we need . . something that will make us whole . . or happier. But we never are more 'whole', or happier. At least not because of something that we 'got'. In fact most of the time when we reach those goals, we just move on to another one. That then becomes the 'important' one. Do you see where I'm going with this? Years from now, the things that we 'want' or strive for today . . . really don't mean diddly. They usually end up on the top shelf of some closet . . or a garage sale. The second thing that really gets me down about this whole thing is that I always wish I could do more for them. Time always seems to be the biggest factor. They live about 40 minutes from me and I do have to work for a living. Unfortunately my job is one that requires my attention pretty much 24/7. I can't leave work at work. I would if I could, but . . I can't. Between that and my wife's job, it's hard to find the time to even visit, let alone spending the day to help them with whatever. I usually try to call and talk to them everyday, but . . it just doesn't seem like enough. I also do whatever I can, whenever I can, but still . . it just doesn't seem like enough. And then of course the holiday season serves to stir everything up and bring all those feelings and emotions to the top of the glass. I'll be spending Christmas day with them. Part of that will be visiting, but then I'll feel like I need to do something. Even if it's just trying to help them organize or put away stuff from their recent move. The problem I have is . . it just never feels like enough. I know a lot of people have a lot of problems out there. Some worse, some not. I guess the point I'm trying to make is . . . spend some time with the people that are important to you. Spend some time, and let them know that they're important to you. Give 'em a hug. And enjoy the moments that you have together. The moments don't last, but . . the memories do. Make some . . while you can.

2 comments:

  1. You're a good son. It's unfortunate how it sometimes takes (a) serious event(s), (medical or otherwise) to remind us of just how important family/friends is/are.

    I try not to get myself down too much about the materialistic society in which we live. We're all trying to fill the proverbial hole. I remind myself that intellectual curiousity is important to keeping yourself interested in life. You've got to keep yourself happy and optimistic in order to forge on, and provide positivity and support for those around you.

    Keep your chin up. Don't feel guilty. You're doing all the right things.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate them. Like I said, I'm not looking for sympathy, I just worry that in the acquiring of 'things' that people forget about the 'things' they already have . . . the people in their lives . . . family, friends, acquaintances . . they're all important. I think about that alot. And of course it's all 'highlighted' around this time of year. I think if we all take of few minutes a day away from our pursuit for 'things', and instead spend those few minutes focused on the people in our lives . . we'll all be enriched for it. Sounds a bit altruistic though . . right? But . . a guy can hope. Again, thanks for listening.

    ReplyDelete