Goodbye Smokie - Personal

I'm really sad today. One of my cats passed. We found out a couple of weeks ago that she had lymphatic cancer. We took her in, thinking that it was a cold. She was having problems breathing and swallowing. She seemed to be wheezing a lot. Well anyways, of course, they did a blood test. A couple of days later they told us it was cancer. The strange thing about it is that she seemed so normal around Christmas time. She was her usual playful self. Playing with the other cats, getting into the decorations, milling about like Godzilla on our Christmas village. But then shortly after the holidays is when we noticed she was having problems. After the visit we were giving her medicine, but she was barely keeping it down. Plus we noticed that she was getting thinner and thinner, and was having a harder time breathing. Anyways, shes mostly been in hiding the last couple of weeks or so. Coming out occasionally to see us, or to use her litter box. And she hadn't been downstairs in probably two weeks. My wife would bath her occasionally to help her clean off her hair. But she just seemed to be less and less herself. Well, tonight we're watching TV when we hear this low guttural meow coming from the hallway. The other two cats were downstairs with us, so my wife immediately jumped up to see what it was. Well, here was Smokie meandering down the hallway. She picked her up, and she immediately flopped over in her arms. She thought that was it, so she hugged her and kissed her and then laid her down on the carpet. But Smokie was still fighting. She was still breathing, and looked up at me. At least I want to think so. So she starting petting her back, which was her favorite, and I her head, and she literally passed in our hands. The other two cats were just sitting around watching, but I would like to think that they knew what was going on. We let her lay there for a couple of minutes, then we wrapped her in her favorite towel, put her in a box, and took her outside to bury her. Don't get me wrong, I lost pets as a kid, but, I always seemed to not be around when it happened. This one, Smokie, really got to me. I started thinking about all her little habits. How when she wanted to be petted, she'd come up and tap on your leg. And then she'd turn around and wiggle her butt at you, because her back was her favorite. Or how she'd run back and forth across the upstairs to try to get the other cats attention when they were downstairs. Or how she'd like to lay on her kitty condo, bathing in the sun, on the back porch. And right now I'm thinking about how she's like to lay at my feet, under the desk, when I was on the computer. I'd have to be careful not to twitch and kick her. Or sometimes she'd lay behind me in the chair. But what really gets me, is that I'm going to miss her purr. She had this high pitched "peeping" type of purr that would start before you even touched her. And you just knew that she loved you, and loved your attention. She was such a little baby. She was 7 or 8 years old, and I knew that it was inevitable, but I really wasn't as prepared as I thought for it. I'll miss her deeply. My only condolence is in knowing that she's in a better place, and not suffering any more. I've prayed for her every night since this began. I'm actually relieved for her, but sad for myself and our house. I love you Smokie. I'll be thinking about you everyday!